Homework

Panic stations: Broadband was down all day. Despite 150 hours of Japanese lessons with a private tutor (fellow cat-lover T-san) I can't dial zero and chat in techno with the operator to cure the passo-con (personal computer). I just about manage the two syllabaries (hiragana and katakana) plus kiddie kanji (Chinese characters), which qualified me to take the Level 4 Proficiency Exam after sending in my Y 5,500 and a photo to prevent cheating. My special talent is reading menus.

One Sunday in December I boarded the Keio line for a station north of Shinjuku. The platform was crowded with fellow gaijin since the exam is given just once a year. We headed to the University of Electro-Communications, an 8 minute walk from Chofu Station. (Station to destination, measured in minutes, is always offered in this punctual country.) One block into my 8 minutes and I heard," Misherru?" Someone from the Tokyo American Club, who else?

The last time I took a standardized exam was B.M. (before marriage). Not to mention it was in my native tongue. Here I sat between an older African gentleman and a young Indian lad, each with bottled water and a pencil. Instructions were offered rapidfire. What a relief to start filling in the boxes: one hour of vocabulary, one of listening comprehension and a third of reading. After each section, some of the seats emptied out. Results, mailed in February, will confirm that it wasn't just a bad dream.

Yesterday T-san apologized for the Exam Board: Sumimassen, in 2010 it has changed the material so that this year Level 4 is more like last year's Level 3. Hai, forever four, that unlucky number. Our building concierge, the charming O-san, encourages me to practice with him, and the academic women's club holds conversation sessions twice a month in which we exchange data about where we live now and where we came from.

So how did I resolve my internet problem? The same way I have everywhere else I've lived: Push a lot of buttons, feel annoyed for a few hours and finally remember to take the jack out of the modem and count to 30. My in-box included an invitation from the Tokyo American Club to the Sudoku Fun Day this Saturday. Current count is 33 contestants.