Goody Bags

     A mysterious box of towels arrived in the post a while ago with a printed note, which I could not read. (The passing grade in the Japanese Proficiency Test puts me at first grade.) Could this be a premium from a department store for making a large purchase? I stare at the kanji with no luck and carry the note to the building manager, our cherished O-san. He hops to his feet and adjusts reading glasses. "Ah, it's from Suzuki-san. He thanks you for your kind contribution to his father's funeral."


     Shujin (husband) mentioned a collection at work for a funeral. After that I spied the section at stationery stores that supply a range of envelopes (red ribbons for weddings and black ones funerals), calibrated at different amounts. At my lesson I asked nihongo sensei whether further action was required. She explained that to defray the expense of a  Japanese Buddhist funeral, which runs a  minimum of Y 2 million ($20,000), it is customary to send condolence money (koden). The bereaved family then sends a present for half the value of the contribution and that ends the exchange. Cremation is the rule and families are buried together in plots that are well tended. "Nowadays the family may even send out a catalogue so that you select your own present," she smiled.

     Soon after, nihongo sensei's father passed away. I handed her an envelope at the first opportunity, and a week later a pretty package of dried mushrooms arrived. "My  native home in Kyushu is known for this type of mushroom," she told me. With memorial services scheduled on the 49th and 100th day following cremation, she made the journey twice more.

     Weddings also come with a price tag (minimum $300) and goody bags from Tiffany, judging by the weekend outflow from the private Mitsui Club across the road from the Manor. As our Japanese acquaintances are all married, we have not yet had to invest in a red-ribboned envelope.