Thursday, May 20, 2010

Sumo Smackdown

     Sumo fans are used to the rough and tumble, unlike coddled Tokyo American Club members who came for a genteel lecture on the sport and found themselves in the midst of a slanging match. Gaijin guest, a couch potato sumo, arrived early with his okusan (wife) and nihon publishers. The Library Committee welcomed 20 to the event, including omnipresent TAC president (think: Obama). Reading from The Joy of Sumo, Mr. Benjamin invited the audience to interrupt with questions as they arose. A smug looking woman (think: Lily Tomlin) was pleased to raise her hand.   

    "Why on page 99 do you refer to the grandfather of the yokuzuna (highest rank sumo), yet 10 pages later you call the same man uncle? Please explain the incest here?" she posed, licking her lips. Sososo,  Benjamin acknowledged the mistake. When asked which part of Japan produces the most wrestlers, the author answered that they come from villages at extreme ends of the country. Smug lady piped up: "Then how do explain that three of the all-time top sumo hail from Tokyo?" She cited names and dates. Sosososo, Benjamin admitted that except for a few Tokyoites, most hail from the hinterlands. After she further reduced our joy in  his book, the author asked: "Could you please give us your name?" Ms X! "Friends, please meet my greatest critic, Ms X, the author of a competing book on the subject. She has been hounding me ever since my book was published 20 years ago." Perhaps Ms X might allow Mr. Benjamin to continue and offer her own lecture in future? I suggested. "Ha! Her book is out of print while mine lives on after 20 years!" spluttered Mr. Benjamin to Ms X's dismay.

     Much like a sumo match (a few minutes of posturing ending with a shove that bounces one roly-poly combatant out of the ring) our evening came to an abrupt halt. "Charlatan!" shouted Ms X, snapping the stem from her wine glass. A Library Committee colleague (and a practitioner of Israeli self-defense) invited Ms X to leave the premises and allow the rest of us to enjoy the rest of the evening. As a members only event, who brought her? The nihon publishers were forced to admit that they did: "She is a reporter for a sumo publication." Unlike past author events when guests mingle and the author signs books, the room emptied out as if for a fire drill. "Rich people don't like to spend money," opined Mr. Benjamin to his hostess. "I'd love to come back another time since we come once a year to visit my in-laws."  Final lesson about sumo: Bow to the victor.

5 comments:

  1. My goodness, your tale sounds even more rough and tumble that the Donald Richie event I went to at TAC in 2005. I'm sure you handled very well, Ms Moderator.

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  2. What happened with Donald Richie? I am still laughing at the chain of events last night! The author stepped on some tape and every time he took a step, wires followed him. My swan song as chair/moderator!

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  3. It is a rare "bookish" event that gets this combative. Oh, I wish I had been there! Your swan song will live on in TAC history...

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  4. I have discussed with my husband, a law school graduate, your libelous, unfounded assertion in your blog about my sex life. Even though you apparently have left Japan, I can still sue you for libel unless you delete or retract it.

    L. Sharnoff

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  5. Still can't get things right, can you, Michelle? David Benjamin was not threatened with a broken glass, and no one shouted "charlatan," unless it was you. The passage about the Futagoyama family is all in the same paragraph on the same page (192): "And so what if their uncle, Fujishima's father-in-law (in other words, their grandpa--my addition), happened to be Futagoyama, President of the Sumo Association?" To quote the ending of my review for the Sept. 2010 "Sumo World"--a magazine Benjamin, BTW, claims no longer exists:
    "To paraphrase the late Senator Daniel Moynihan, David Benjamin is certainly entitled to his own opinions but not to his own facts." Nor are you, Michelle.

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