The Business of Marriage

      Matchmaking (omiai) is still a career option in Nihon. "My parents took me to a hotel with our omiai to meet my husband-to-be with his parents and matchmaker, " one tomodachi (friend) recalled about the first interview of her husband 25 years ago. "Three on each side of the table, with the matchmakers at the end of the table." After a sperm test (to check that late onset chickenpox had not impaired fertility), the deal was sealed and now two children attend med school. While at Juilliard studying piano, another tomodachi received a visit from parents with omiai  since she reached the dangerous age of  Christmas cake (stale after the 25th).  Thanks to a serendipitous introduction she met a nihonjin in the Big Apple; they married and saved her parents a bundle. Each consultation starts at $100.

    "My neighbor stopped by this morning with a present to tell me that it is settled with that her husband will move out," said tomodochi san at Eating Out Club this week. "She said it has all been fixed." Tomodachi-san admitted that she barely knew the neighbor, although there are only four flats in the building. The last time they spoke the neighbor mentioned her husband's retirement. Separation for empty nesters is not unusual among nihon no fufu (couples): After the job of raising a family is successfully completed, some wives prefer to live alone. Why the present? "As a thank you for listening."

     Marriage is losing steam in this country, despite the parade of brides posing at the Meiji Jingu ( shrine) or by one of the many Prince Hotels. Young women are becoming "career girls," living with the parents and spending their earnings on designer handbags or trips abroad. The trend does not discourage matchmakers who specialize on different age groups and keep files of eligibles. "My friend's daughter has been looking for a husband for 18 years," said one tomodachi. "She hasn't found anyone suitable yet, and the pool of men is becoming smaller so she is meeting the same men again after all this time."  Time moves quickly, tomodachis, how is it possible that in four weeks this blog will come to its natural conclusion?